Responsibility

As of late, I feel like my kids need to be reminded WAY to often about the things they are responsible for inside their own home. When they lack in their duties, I get frustrated. I have been working hard at not yelling, and they have been doing a good job at recognizing when I am at the breaking point. I decided for FHE on Monday that we would have a nice "object" lesson to go along with what I had planned.

First, I might just say that my kids DO know the rules. They know that their ultimate goal is to go outside and play everyday after school. OK, so NOT at the top of my list everyday, but definitely at the top of theirs. Including Kruz. But I can't let them go out there on their own, especially Kruz, so they know they have certain things that need to be taken care of inside the house FIRST. I rarely give in to letting them play outside unless those things are complete despite how many times the neighbors knock on the door for them to come out to play.

However, after a few days of not playing, Kruz is really annoyed and ready to go out. So our afternoon involves a little bit of voices being raised, some throwing fits, and running around crazy for them to get all the things done that I want them to, just so we can go outside for a short amount of time. For them then, to be mad that we didn't get enough time. It is NOT a win-win situation, because I come back inside more irritated usually then when I went out.

So, I concocted a plan, one that benefits ME, but it is simple to follow if they so choose, and I don't have to yell. =)

So back to my object lesson for Monday. I DID NO YELLING!!! The afternoon went like this:

The girls came home from school
They left their backpacks in the middle of the floor
Their lunchboxes were not put away
The jackets and shoes were still next to the couch

I made dinner, have everything ready to eat at 5:30 and had NOT yelled once all day. I called Josh at 5:15 and told him NOT TO MENTION the "state" of the house when he got home, and to just be ready to eat dinner when he got here.

• At 5:35 Josh, Kruz, and I sat down for dinner. The girls were told that they could not eat dinner with us until they had finished their homework. (they had been home for nearly 3 hours) I think they got to the table at 5:50. hmm only 15 minutes to complete homework if their mind is set to do it. Good to know.
  
• We finished dinner, got ready for bed and met on the couch for FHE. Here was the quick lesson I read to them. "Mine House is a House of Order"

I asked them if mom yelled today? They both agreed "no." They said they liked that, and I agreed. But then we looked around at the "state" of the house. And all agreed it was a mess with all of their things "not in order."

We talked about how I didn't ask them to do anything today, and that each of them chose to do nothing today, and how that makes us "not being responsible" for our own things. And that because of their choices, they didn't even get to sit down for dinner with us on time.

I gave them their new set of "Things to Do if I want to Play Outside" cards and we attached them to their doors.

Kruz's list.

I told them I would NO LONGER be asking them to do these "items" and when they have looked at their list, if they were completely done, they could then ask to go outside. If they asked BEFORE they were done, it was an automatic NO for the day and we would try again tomorrow.

** And if it was dinner time and they still weren't done, they were not allowed to eat dinner with us until they were finished.

So yesterday was the first true day of trying.

• I didn't yell at all, and they didn't ask to play outside.
• Most chores got done. Josh came home at 5:30 to eat.
• Josh, Kruz and I sat down for dinner.
• Kobi joined us at 5:40 when she looked at her list and remembered to put her lunchbox away.
• Kylee joined us at 5:45 when she finished her language homework and handed me a Free Homework pass for her Math. Nice!!!

BUT I DIDN'T YELL, OR GET MAD. And, I didn't have to sit outside again today. (PS, I don't mind going outside every once in awhile, but I feel so unproductive when it is everyday.)

So we are gonna try again today. Wish us luck.

Kylee's list

Kylee's list this morning.